Thursday, May 23, 2013
After an invigorating conversation with a dear friend, I want to reflect upon these competing narratives in our lives.
Fate being the vision of life determined. Choice is our freewill.
Fate is so tempting and tasty. With fate we have such magic to enjoy. Romantically our lives sparkle with love predetermined. Once we discover the “one” for us, we are never asked to change because it was fated that we fall into this relationship. If the “other” does not live up to our expectations, then they are NOT the one because they do not fit fate. Fate sets us free of responsibility in romance, career, or well anything. Of course fate wants the best for us (sarcastically stated). If it causes us pain, it is ill-fated. Life is a fairy tale. If the story does not read correctly, we blame fate or those who have lead us astray. Maybe, we own that we missed fates call. Bottom line, fate leaves us powerless to react and weak to enjoy. Fate is not us created in God’s image.
Choice is truly more free. While fate frees us from responsibility, choice empowers us to engage. God has chosen us, as we know best through the life / death / resurrection of Jesus. Another friend of mine named for me the power of adopted families for they are families of choice. What if we woke, every day, next to a person that chose us? No fate, their choice is the demonstration of love that inspires us ... frees us. Teacher shielding student is choice. The magic is the choice. Rather than a static love that never grows, chosen love is like spiritual growth. Unless a pattern it becomes, our brokenness is merely an opportunity of choice to love us through the healing, transformation, rehabilitation, recovery. So often in weddings I pray, may they know the blessing of forgiveness undeserved. Choice is the sparkle given us by the ONE who created us.
Choice a power so strong to destruct or construct.
Choice the power so strong we seek to deny it in ourselves and those we love so tempting is fate in our reality.
Relationships are not fated. Relationships are chosen and maintained. A mentor once named for me the power of being present. It is one thing to say we agree or affirm. It is an even more powerful thing to show up.
What impact might be if you chose another, daily, for a lifetime? Could the influence of your choice make better their daily being? Would not that be worth your investment?
If God created us in God’s image ... If we seek God’s intercession in our lives and the lives of those we love ... if Jesus tells us that all God’s children are our neighbor ... If Jesus tells us to love our neighbor ... what is our choice?
Wednesday, May 08, 2013
Why do we offer diamonds on rings of engagement? Love is far more priceless and organic. Though both share a common experience of expressing great beauty through the stress of high pressure, Love is more than that. Yes, both may begin as a lump of coal only to become years later the crystalline celebration. However, diamonds with their 4 “c”s never match the consistency and creative, compassion and challenge of love.
Love is a challenge. A marathon is a challenge against distance and time, both of which wait for our arrival and never step forward to kick us in the gut. Sometimes, love is less kind. Sometimes love kicks us in the gut and then drags us through the marathon, unwilling participants we are.
Love is compassion. Those who share love share deep compassion for others who share love. The scarlet letter “L” is the symbol of a club. Regardless of the truth “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, those who love share a kindred bond with those similarly afflicted. When true, dost any other cure so mend brokenness?
Love is creative. Let me count the ways I love thee? Let me count the ways I have loved, been loved, raced from and stumbled toward love. When glimpsed the loved have I, numerous are the rationalizations I have that it is real. Face to Face with the other, obstacles melt in my ability to hug even a cactus.
Love is consistency. Are the mistakes of anything else so easily forgotten or more often ignored? Classic are the stories of love in its many phases for consistent is the experience. As unique as we want to be, claim to be, try to be - when sharing the story of our love, smiles contagious greet our telling.
Comprehensive is not this tale. Love far more complex than to be caught by any caricature. Aside, unlike a diamond readily enumerated from price to carrot, Love’s elusive nature continues to compel us to communal embrace and curled toes.
Happy Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Anniversary, Wedding Announcement, and the cacophony of celebrations of love . . .